Freshwater Muscle

by 10,000 Blades

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about

Jon Stone - Guitar, Vocals
Sean Keith - Bass, Shouty Parts
Zachary Taylor - Drums
additional shouty parts by Hannah Stone and Katie Lentes

credits

released 16 February 2014

Jon Stone - Guitar, Vocals
Sean Keith - Bass, Shouty Parts
Zachary Taylor - Drums
additional shouty parts by Hannah Stone and Katie Lentes

photo by Cassandra Mae Brown

Recorded by Brandon Kipp at Maple Tree Studio, Beloit, WI
Mixed & Mastered By Travis Bell at Adorea recording Studio, Hamden, CT Located at "The Space"

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Track Name: Upon Returning To Stamford, Connecticut
I've lived here for my whole life
this is where I plan to die
I left to go to college
I left to bag myself up a wife
and have the midwest up and punch me in the eye

and it's been eight years, a long eight years
since I moved a couple steps to the right
the view from this cul de sac confirms my deepest fears
about what used to be my driveway tonight

and this is the place where I waited for my mom
when I missed the bus in the first grade
this is the place where I got my face kicked in
this is the place where I got my nose broken
Track Name: Back To School
I'm going to a place where I feel like I'm shit out of luck
where people overuse words like "privilege" and "construct"
I don't understand their humor
and I'm angry that they're laughing
It turns out
some people aren't afraid to hit a man with glasses
it's a problem when you've got a big mouth
and you need glasses to see
I want to be bigger and better than me

I'm going back to the land of the Minnesota Skyway
back to the land of subdivisions by the highway
back to the land of diabetes and uneasy smiles
watching my friends throw half-full beers at a daycare
here in the land of my first STD scare

I hope to God I can make it through this week
I'd like to believe that I know where I really want to be
It's the shit you hate that makes you human
it turns out other people also like Randy Newman
and it's nice to have someone just as hateful, if not more so, than me.
Track Name: Fuck You Die
Passed out naked on the bathroom floor last night
sometimes I think I should cast myself in a better light
I get worse as I get older
more secure when I'm hung over
I hope you will smile
when I tell you you were right about me

I'm not about that small pond shit anymore
I want to do something better
and I don't have to try and make friends with those kids if I don't want to
and I don't want to
they raise their voices when they know they're being polite
so everyone will say "oh, but he's so nice"
I've been around for a while
and I think I might know better

I found something yesterday
that left me with a big fucking shit eating smile
and I think I can honestly say
that I haven't felt this way in a while
and I've been trying my best
at things that make me feel awake and alive
I won't let them ruin this for me
1, 2, 3, 4 fuck you die

passed out naked on the bathroom floor again
Track Name: My Bloody Granddad
I found my grandfather's blood on a tissue in his tacklebox.
He hasn't bled in fifteen years.

I noticed that my father didn't go down to the basement.
I wonder what it's like for him going down there.

The winter has been mild
and I've been so afraid
but right now I can smile
because it's nine degrees outside
and that's fucking wonderful to me

So I told my grandmother about the drink I named for her.
She didn't get my humor, but she was appreciative nonetheless
Track Name: I Want To Punch Your Dad In The Throat
this is a solitary act
it lets you know you're not so trapped
things will get better in three weeks when you come home
for now you've got nerves of steel reserve
when the hell are you going to learn?
you'd better shut your mouth before you get yourself disown
I see you biting the hair on your knuckles
you lummox, you bastard, you coward, you cuckold
and tearing the moss from this fast unrolling Stone

but there is hope in the way you hate everything
It helps you to cope
and it gives you a reason to sing

It says together, we can kill the day-glo colors
or at least we can run them the fuck out of our little town
when you're told, "boy, I feel bad for your mother,"
you say "my mother wouldn't want a bastard like you around"

and you've said so many times
"earth angel, earth angel, will you please be mine?
oh my darling beer, I will take you all the time"
and you spilled yourself on the floor of someone else's house
something you yourself would get mad about
it's ok because you're injured and in your prime
it's what you need to convince yourself you're doing fine

remember when you wrote that song?
remember what she said about it?
she said "you wrote that song back when you were angry"

I hate everything about everything
I want everyone to eat shit and die
I looked it up on WebMD--this is good for my health
feeling this way is keeping me alive
Track Name: Li'l Poppa
ten years ago at eleven years old
I found out that your bones were destroying your bones
and I screamed and I cried I don't want you to die
I don't want you to die
I don't want you to die

you said you were fine and you said not to worry
in the house of my grandfather we had just buried
you said you were lucky and that you had time
I'm glad you were right and I'm glad you're alive
but it was hard on my mother it was hard on me
it was hard on the rest of our family
and the things that the doctors pumped in your veins
made you fat and they rendered you clinically insane

and the badge that you wore to show that you weren't yet dead
was an unsightly hole in the back of your head
you don't hurt anymore
you are healthy and you've mellowed out quite bit
we all knew one day you'd run out of luck

so I said I'd be fine and I said you'd be fine
no one knows that I cried by myself in the library
rocking myself back and forth like a baby
don't fucking touch me.
I don't need your sympathy
Track Name: A Child Is Born At Happy Harry's Wine And Liquor Discount Warehouse
I was born on a sunday in Bridgeport in nineteen ninety-nothing
my father covered up the cross on the wall
he said we don't need your god's loving
and the motorcycles kept me up all night

I was bar mitzvahed in 2003
about an hour from my new home
I had a right to speak
some false responsibilities
and a reason to feel alone
so with my korean-made guitar in one hand
and my pubescent dick in the other
I then began my lifelong quest
to disappoint my mother

and I still do

I threw my father down the stairs over whose brain belonged to who[m]
I said "Dad, I'm a man now, and that means I don't need you."

I'm not an impressive man
I weigh a hundred and forty pounds
and I don't think anyone likes me
in this goyish little town of ours

I came home for the summer
to try and figure out how to live
yeah, we had a bit of a bummer
but there still is a whole lot that we can give

so send my regards to Happy Harry
I woke up at one today
we come home late
we wake up late
we start drinking right away
we get fucked up during the day
we did today

and we aren't really trying all that hard
we spent the afternoon shooting at cans in my backyard.

I promise I will try harder next time.
Track Name: 2010 Lesbian Party Program
tomorrow
in Chicago
you will see me for the first time as a grown-ass man
I hope you're impressed be me
just like I hoped you'd be
at that party with all the lesbians in 2010
but I fear I've lost a little of my spark
and there are parts of my heart that have since grown dark
but i still like building things
and I still like gardening
and I still run off at the mouth as much as I did when I was nineteen
Track Name: The Anti-Dentites
my friends thought they were going far
getting high in the suburbs in the back of Dave's mother's car
they used to quote the Wu-Tang Clan
because that's what white kids do when they're on drugs
that's the way that babies fall in love

and they had the greatest band that never really was
they went to shows and only talked amongst themselves
they would stand in a circle, harmonizing softly
Rob, quit being a pussy and get in the pit
you know our people don't believe in hell

and there was a new way to get high
the humming of lights and the asphalt
and the thought that you might die
and it was thrilling
and you made a killing
selling drugs to teenagers
when we were teenagers
I wish I was a teenager

and you were a latchkey
that must have been pretty cool
never having to answer to anybody
doing drugs at home instead of going to school
being alone in that big old house
singing to yourself drunk in the mirror
still it terrifies me the the things you did to deal with the fear

and I think your friends were like my friends
only your friends did more drugs
and I always thought that my friends did a lot of drugs